What YOU Want Just May Not Be What They NEED

Every morning my sweet boy, Samuel wakes up full of wide-eyed amazement at the world around him. He's ready to charge the day and learn as much as he possibly can. He eats a healthy breakfast, clears his dishes from the table, and goes to get ready for school. He puts his dirty laundry away and brushes his teeth, then comes to the table and sits quietly, ready to learn. His sister, Savanna, has a little more work that requires more in depth instructions so he waits patiently as I get her started on her work. He is such a sweet boy, I mean it. Then we begin his lessons for the day. We read books together and discuss the characters and plots. He even tries to read some of the easier phonics words. He does all his worksheets that I have assigned for the day and happily completes them too! Even when I get up to get them a little snack, he sits there and does his book work with diligence. He's learning so much!! Then he practices his handwriting and ends the school day with some quiet computer time. He really enjoys math games and does so well staying on task. Then it's time for lunch and we're done for the day...

Oh wait...

That's my "perfect homeschooling day" scenario! Sorry, not true.

While my son is a sweet boy and he does wake up with wide-eyed amazement at the world around him and while he does enjoy learning about new things, this scenario is not a good representation of how our day goes. IF I can get him to eat breakfast (emphasis on IF), it's usually some sort of chocolatey cereal with no milk that he crams in his mouth without a spoon, leaving half of it spilled all over the floor. I tell him over and over to brush his teeth and put his clothes in the laundry. I ask him to come to the table for school and I hear what sounds like zombies coming from their room, "whhhhhhhhhyyyyyyy?!?! I don't waaaannnnttt to do schoooool!" Once I finally convince him to come to the table, he gets up 20 times and has very little interest in book work. If we are building something or doing a science project or even cooking or baking, he's right there ready and excited to learn. But I think he'd rather go to the dentist than sit and do book work. It's like pulling teeth! (I'm not sure why I'm stuck on teeth and dentist clichés but oh well!) No, what my sweet boy would much RATHER do is take apart flashlights and toys and create new "inventions." He has a large bag hanging from his school chair that is full of weird odds and ends of flashlights, fun noodles, bottles, toys, a stethoscope, small boxes, screws, screwdrivers, pliers, a turkey baster and more. He loves it.

 

I want him to sit quietly and do book work.

He wants to figure out how to make a hand-held well using a turkey baster, straws, and tape.

I'm starting to realize that what I want just may not be what he needs.

He needs to move. He needs to create. He needs to build. He needs to explore. He IS NOT HIS SISTER. He is his own, wonderful, amazing, curious, totally cool person and I have to let him be that. God created my children to be individuals and I sometimes still have that old public school mentality of making each kid this cookie cutter image of the next and expecting them to all learn the same way. It doesn't work! And it hasn't been working for my Sam. He is smart. So smart. So why am I so concerned with whether or not he can write at the age of 4yrs?? His vocabulary is off the charts, he can do 1st grade math, he knows all the Kindergarten basics, he's starting to read, and yet I act like he HAS to sit and do book work and worksheets and flash cards everyday or he's not learning enough. And as I'm typing this I just want to slap myself and say "What is wrong with you!?" He needs some freedom. He needs to be a little boy. He needs to dump that huge bag of spare parts out and let the creative juices flow!! I know you can't measure that on a standardized test or show proof of it in a portfolio, but I have to be ok with that. Because in the end, this is what he needs.

(Today he spent the school day building a robot out of all his spare parts)

The beginning stages of
his robot!



His completed robot!

He named him "Rusty" :)

So my question for you is, what does your child need? Are you stuck in a rut and trying to fit their learning experience into that cookie cutter mold of what homeschoolers should do? Are you letting the pressures of "proving" that your child is learning get the best of you instead of giving him your best? I have to admit that I think I may have failed my son in this area. And I want to do better. What I wanted from his homeschool experience just may not be what he needs. And that's ok. What about you? Are you ok with that too?

Bye for now,
Kristina