What YOU Want Just May Not Be What They NEED

Every morning my sweet boy, Samuel wakes up full of wide-eyed amazement at the world around him. He's ready to charge the day and learn as much as he possibly can. He eats a healthy breakfast, clears his dishes from the table, and goes to get ready for school. He puts his dirty laundry away and brushes his teeth, then comes to the table and sits quietly, ready to learn. His sister, Savanna, has a little more work that requires more in depth instructions so he waits patiently as I get her started on her work. He is such a sweet boy, I mean it. Then we begin his lessons for the day. We read books together and discuss the characters and plots. He even tries to read some of the easier phonics words. He does all his worksheets that I have assigned for the day and happily completes them too! Even when I get up to get them a little snack, he sits there and does his book work with diligence. He's learning so much!! Then he practices his handwriting and ends the school day with some quiet computer time. He really enjoys math games and does so well staying on task. Then it's time for lunch and we're done for the day...

Oh wait...

That's my "perfect homeschooling day" scenario! Sorry, not true.

While my son is a sweet boy and he does wake up with wide-eyed amazement at the world around him and while he does enjoy learning about new things, this scenario is not a good representation of how our day goes. IF I can get him to eat breakfast (emphasis on IF), it's usually some sort of chocolatey cereal with no milk that he crams in his mouth without a spoon, leaving half of it spilled all over the floor. I tell him over and over to brush his teeth and put his clothes in the laundry. I ask him to come to the table for school and I hear what sounds like zombies coming from their room, "whhhhhhhhhyyyyyyy?!?! I don't waaaannnnttt to do schoooool!" Once I finally convince him to come to the table, he gets up 20 times and has very little interest in book work. If we are building something or doing a science project or even cooking or baking, he's right there ready and excited to learn. But I think he'd rather go to the dentist than sit and do book work. It's like pulling teeth! (I'm not sure why I'm stuck on teeth and dentist clichés but oh well!) No, what my sweet boy would much RATHER do is take apart flashlights and toys and create new "inventions." He has a large bag hanging from his school chair that is full of weird odds and ends of flashlights, fun noodles, bottles, toys, a stethoscope, small boxes, screws, screwdrivers, pliers, a turkey baster and more. He loves it.

 

I want him to sit quietly and do book work.

He wants to figure out how to make a hand-held well using a turkey baster, straws, and tape.

I'm starting to realize that what I want just may not be what he needs.

He needs to move. He needs to create. He needs to build. He needs to explore. He IS NOT HIS SISTER. He is his own, wonderful, amazing, curious, totally cool person and I have to let him be that. God created my children to be individuals and I sometimes still have that old public school mentality of making each kid this cookie cutter image of the next and expecting them to all learn the same way. It doesn't work! And it hasn't been working for my Sam. He is smart. So smart. So why am I so concerned with whether or not he can write at the age of 4yrs?? His vocabulary is off the charts, he can do 1st grade math, he knows all the Kindergarten basics, he's starting to read, and yet I act like he HAS to sit and do book work and worksheets and flash cards everyday or he's not learning enough. And as I'm typing this I just want to slap myself and say "What is wrong with you!?" He needs some freedom. He needs to be a little boy. He needs to dump that huge bag of spare parts out and let the creative juices flow!! I know you can't measure that on a standardized test or show proof of it in a portfolio, but I have to be ok with that. Because in the end, this is what he needs.

(Today he spent the school day building a robot out of all his spare parts)

The beginning stages of
his robot!



His completed robot!

He named him "Rusty" :)

So my question for you is, what does your child need? Are you stuck in a rut and trying to fit their learning experience into that cookie cutter mold of what homeschoolers should do? Are you letting the pressures of "proving" that your child is learning get the best of you instead of giving him your best? I have to admit that I think I may have failed my son in this area. And I want to do better. What I wanted from his homeschool experience just may not be what he needs. And that's ok. What about you? Are you ok with that too?

Bye for now,
Kristina

DOOO YOUR WOOOORK!!!

For weeks I had been wracking my brain trying to figure out how to get my daughter, Savanna, motivated to do school work. She's 6yrs old (we are doing 2nd grade curriculum), and for some reason she just went on strike one day. She is so very smart and creative, she's been doing school since she was 2yrs old, but she just decided she wasn't going to do the work anymore. She couldn't stay focused and I was constantly telling her, "Do your work!" "DO your WORK!" "DOOO YOUR WOOOORK!!!" I worried that I had pushed her too hard. Maybe she wasn't ready for 2nd grade? She wasn't challenged by Kindergarten or 1st grade material, but she's technically supposed to be starting 1st grade this year. Maybe it's just too much? Or maybe she's attention deficit? I know I hate to say that word, but maybe there's something to it. She-just-can't-focus!! And getting her to read a book was like pulling teeth! I'd had enough.

So we took a break.

We do year-around schooling so it's not that big of a deal for us to take a few days off every now and then. And I was so over it (as you can see from the previous blog in which I confess that sometimes I want to give up!). Then we had our Vacation Bible School at church and her best friend came to stay with us for the week; she's also homeschooled. I couldn't not do school since her friend "M" is homeschooled too. So I planned out lessons for each day and we got back in the swing of things. Seeing her friend excited about learning really sparked something back up with Savanna and I wasn't going to let that spark die! If you've read my previous blog "Plans! Glorious Plans!" then you know that I use a post-it board for my lesson planning. That next week I planned out all the lessons, posted them on the board, and for some reason I had the idea to write a "To-Do" list for her. I wrote down her assignments for that day and set it next to her brand new binder with the cute little chocolate lab puppies (oh, new school supplies work wonders!). When she came to the table, I said with a smile, "Here's your work for today. Do each assignment and then when you've finished, check it off."

Wow.

I've never, and I mean NEVER seen her work so diligently. She LOVED checking off the To-Do list!! It was like a mission for her to see if she could get it all done. She was so focused, organized- I almost cried! Not really :) But I was very excited!  We also got her a little journal from the dollar bin at Target that is a mini book report log. After she reads her book, she logs it in this journal. It asks for the author's/illustrator's names, if it is fiction or non-fiction, # of pages, who her favorite characters were, what her favorite part of the book was, to draw a scene from the book, and to rate it on a scale of 1-10 stars. She LOVES it. She wants to read everyday! And she's even choosing more challenging books that she doesn't have to look in the babies' board book bin to find! I am blown away.

So...

Do you have a child who is showing disinterest or possibly feeling bored with school? Are you totally frustrated? It's not the end of the world, although at times it might seem that way :) Sometimes it's the simple things that make a difference.

• Try giving her a "To-Do" list to follow each day and encourage her to get everything checked off. You could even do a reward system with this! It gives them responsibility and makes them feel like they have ownership in their schooling.
• Get her some new, fresh, school supplies. Sometimes because our kids are homeschooled, we forget that excitement of going to the store and buying new supplies. Especially if you do year-around school and this isn't really the start of a new school year for you! I remember as a kid I used to LOVE going to buy new school supplies and it made me excited to start school. Our wonderful church family got the kids each a new backpack - Hello Kitty for her, Super Heroes for him - and they are so tickled about having them. (FYI, it's our great new "storage system"... we keep them on their chairs with their workbooks, binders, pencil boxes in them and we don't have to go searching for stuff everyday!).  
• Give her an opportunity to choose a project or a field trip that really interests her. Maybe she's bored with the workbooks for now and needs to do a big oral report and lapbook on the Corythosaurus. (For those of you who know me at all, you know we love dinos!) Or take a field trip to a museum or aquarium and let her study things in a different environment. Sometimes getting out of the house can really help.
• Don't be afraid to take a break. That's one of the beauties of homeschooling that I'm concerned a lot of us are afraid to utilize. We get so worried that other people are going to question how we spend our days that we're too afraid to let our kids enjoy a break. It's OK. They won't fail. Let them play. It may be just what they need to get back on track. :)

I hope that you're enjoying homeschooling your little ones. I wouldn't trade it for the world. I try to be transparent on this blog about my struggles and fears with homeschooling so that I can better minister, but at the same time, I have SO MANY BLESSINGS from this experience. Just the other day I watched my 4yr old son playing "Seek & Find" with phonics flashcards and it was truly beautiful to see him connect the letter sounds and read words! I love it. I love watching my daughter get so excited when she does science experiments or listening to her read an Aesop's Fable for the first time. I love sitting and reading book after book after book with my 17mos old twins and listening to them talk in their little baby language when they get excited over pictures of lions or dogs or elephants (or basically any animal really!). It's been an amazingly wonderful, scary, fulfilling, trying, blessed, frustrating, humbling, hilarious, touching, maddening, and splendid adventure and I am so glad that God has given me the opportunity to do this. Aren't you??

Bye for now,
Kristina